Tagalog Jokes Only in the Philippines




We are going to release the new tagalog jokes only in the Philippines before the month of October 2013 ends. So, you only need your "tawanan" mode when you are reading these jokes that are new to you. I am sorry for those who already familiar with these jokes but I guess mostly of these jokes are not available in the market nationwide. These jokes are keep in secret until it will be revealed in here. So, here are the Jokes only in the Philippines for you and for us Filipino people.


* ONLY IN THE PHILIPPINES*

*Nakasulat sa pader;
"MARUNONG KA BANG TUNAHOL? ASO LANG PWEDE UMIHI DITO"

*Along a highway in Pampangga:
"WE MAKE MODERN ANTIQUE FURNITURE"

*In a Baguio grocery:
"FRESH FROZEN CHICKEN SOLD HERE"

*A grafitti inside the cubicle of a ladies C.R in university:
" PLEASE DON'T SIT LIKE A FROG, SIT LIKE A QUEEN"

* At a men's comfort room above the urinal;
" HAWAK MO ANG KINABUKASAN NG BAYAN"

*At the construction site in Mandaluyong:
"BAWAL UMIHI DITO, ANG MAHULI BOG-BOG"

*Somewhere along san Andres:
" NO URINATING, ON THE OVER WALLS"

*In Cubao"
" NONE ID, NOTHING ENTRY"

*On a parking lot:
" tAXI AND OUTSIDE CARS NO ENTRY?

*On jeepney and bus signs:
"BEFORE PAY, TELL WHERE GET THE ON BEFORE GET THE OFF"

*On flower shop in Rizal Avenue:
"WE SELL FRESH ARTIFICIAL FLOWERS"

*On a delivery truck:
"NOT FOR HERE"

*On the window of the restaurant in Baguio:
"WANTED: BOY WAITRESS"

*On vacant lot near Makati ave,:
"DON'T PARKING"

*At an eatery in Cebu;
"WE HAVE SOPDRINK IN KAN AND BATOL!"

but this the best of them all:

*On the building somewhere in the Philippines:
"NOTARY PUBLIC TUMATANGGAP DIN NGA LABADA TUWING LINGGO"

*ADVICE*


Isang mag-asawa ang nagpalagay ng anunsyo sa dyaryo. ang sabi dito:

"HAVE FOR SONS NEED ADVICE ON HOW TO GET A DAUGHTER"

Narito ang natanggap nilang sagot mula sa iba't ibang nasyon;

YANK: Keep trying!
BRITON: Change doctor!
AUSSIE; Follow a special diet.
INDIAN: Practice Yoga!
PINOY; Let me try?

*WHAT THEY SAY*


Sa isang Panturistang lugar sa Paris,laging pinagkakaguluhan ang obra ni leonardode Vinci -ang Mona Lisa.Maririnig mo ang papuri ng mga tao rito.

Sabi ng mga Amerikano, "GREAT WONDERFUL"
Sabi ng mga Ingles, " LOVELY"
Sabi ng mga Pranses, " GENIAL"
Sabi ng mga Espanol, " MUY BIEN"
Sabi ng mga pinoy , PICTURE! PICTURE!"


*IBA ANG PINOY*

Ano kadalasan sinasabi kapag nautot ang isang tao?

AMERICAN; Excuse me.
BRITISH: Pardon me.
PINOY; Not ME!


*BAKIT SA PILIPINAS*

Bakit sa Pilipinas kung mag-apply ka bilang clerk,kailangan college graduate ka? Pero kung mag-apply ka for president,high school drop-out ok nah!


*POP CONTROL*

Iba-iba ang pananaw ng mga bansa tungkol sa populasyon.

CHINA: Stop at 1 child.
SINGAPORE: Stop at 2 children.
PINOY: Stopat 4 A.M.


*CREATIVE FILIPINO BUSINESS NAMES:

MASTERVISION: (video rental shop)
PETAL ATTRACTION; (flower shop)
INTERNATIONAL FUNERAL HOMES: (kailangan kaya ng visa dito)
LUNAS SIKMURA: ( A last resort restaurant)
STD: (If it's car parts,hardware,or disease,we're not sure.)
LE CHENT TEA HOUSE: ( was the owner in a bad mood when it was named?)
DETH'S AND EATERY: ( eat and yo die)

I hope you enjoy reading our jokes only in the Philippines and until next time for the installment of another joke episodes to be published only in this Pinoythinking site. What are you thinking?

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